A Years Worth Of Worry

by H.W.

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about

Paving his own path in the Boston hip hop scene with countless shows under his belt, H.W. (also known as Hazardous Wastes) brings us his newest effort, A Year's Worth of Worry. This release is a cohesive collection of songs that share his vivid stories of life’s challenges. Once again, H.W. shows the hip hop community how he contributes to the Boston scene with a truly unique style of rap that is serious and insightful yet cynical and sarcastic. His lyrics often portray him as a sensitive person -- but the intense honesty he puts behind each track maintains his hard edge. The deeply moving content of H.W.’s material on AYWOW is so powerful and real that the listener will likely develop a personal connection with his music after just a couple songs. All heart and no lies, H.W. is a passionate emcee and an aspiring entrepreneur. He is the owner of the independent label, Delusional Records, which he founded in 2002. He also works closely with DJ Emoh Betta (Deck Demons), one of Boston’s most talented DJs. H.W. has big plans for 2010 – be on the lookout.

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released December 24, 2009

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about

H.W. Boston

I love to rap and complain.
I love to perform.
I want to see your face in the crowd.
Lets hug it out, lets get along.

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Track Name: Shithead
I'm not made for this meaningless setup
Build me up break me down is the usual cup
That i tend to sip from friends don't my sensitivity
Cause i want more from women then i did during puberty
So sue me, i expect you to be into these
Socially awkward tendencies that i display oh so vividly
The vision be that i cant get down just to get down
I'm being serious ill turn you down if your drunk and in town
Don't chase me round unless you want me forever
I'm not settling for less then a enticing endeavor
So yes you like my songs and yes i think your gorgeous
But I'm a man with morals miss, I need more then your legs open
Sorry to say I hate the way world works
You probably hate me now cause i wont take off your shirt
But thats just how am my mother taught me respect
inebriated women don't need me to create more stress Like

Take the anger out on me like you always have
Print out my image place it on your punching bag
Lets cut the ties to the strings we will never have
And tell everyone you I'm wrong and I'm a shithead

Dressed to kill as usual nobodies bothering me
Another night completely uninterested all i want to do is leave
To a place where the ghosts take out my name.
Staring off into this blackness as if its changed
I strain my vocal cords sharing with you life' decay
Amazed that I'm standing on this stage still to this day
I let a lot of life go by never blinking in the seizures
Dimmed the features took the role of playing a teacher
but it goes, you don't like hearing knowledge within the speakers
its like


hows it feel to hear i told you so
lets start the awkward interaction till the damage is culled
Hate me all you want make me your statuette martyr
Sling the fodder towards the gods asking for a better offer
I tried to save every soul Ive contacted
But all they do is blame for the faults of their actions
The son of fathers ambition and a mothers brooding fear
When I'm gone sing this song hope it quells your meager ears
Track Name: Complications
I Cant seem to wash the stains off my soul
The pain that unfolds is finally ending its toll
I'm breaking this mold blown out finally free
The queens timing was nothing short of catastrophe and its this
life i lead every sentimental moment
that Brings me closer to the point of auto focus
I wrote this to tell you all hopes about 5'8
Dark hair dark eyes with a booty that gyrates
I'm Just keep trying to keep the plate full
Everyday trying to show you why I'm so damn grateful
For every time i stared deep into your eyes
And saw a piece of my future yes it looks like a good life
Just make it last make it right thats all I'm hearing
Between microphones and tour maps thats whats been reeling
Ive got a feeling this could last past my lifetime
If I could look into my future maybe use a lifeline
Just take your time josh savor every moment
and stop with the puts downs she seems turned off from it
So this goes out to the girl in my world
Don't let me let you down causing rift between curls

I cant figure you out you cant figure me out
I don't know why my minds filled with such doubts
Ive got a good thing now Ive got a good thing how
The rains coming down but all i see are brighter clouds

So strip the shield down break me off a piece of you
Tends to be to personal but i want to share something true
My life a skewed within the dreams of a peaceful new
And i guess you can I'm smiling more then a few
Times a day my life has its moments of crazy
From the moment i wake till I'm sleeping and maybe
We have some common goals wants of being with somebody cool
Separating from the past were better then those two
I guess I'm saying happiness is what you make of it
And I'm glad I'm sharing it with you thanks for the embracement
I don't know where the road going to take us
But as long as your there I'm down for the cause
Because you make me laugh make smile with each statement
Pick apart my flaws make me stop with the hating
I feel amazing and its shocking how it came to be
The light at end of the tunnel was there but never seen
Just stick around i swear in worth my weight in gold
And one day you'll know when the plans have unfolded
Track Name: The End Of The Line
Lets waste the daybreak sitting by a broken soul tossed by another role
cost to date is tattered on the walls all he does it fall
down by the wayside scared cause he hates life
lifts the blade towards the windpipe lets talk about strife
hes got a wife that hates everything about him cant stand be around
so whats wrong with her frown
she doesn't know that he hates his job but works late
just to keep dinner on the plate maybe spark a debate
but the situation lacks every bit of everything
that he once loved about what consumed his dreams
he just wants to scream out
how life is such a fucking mess
tired of the tall talk that his parents address
you need to get out thats what mind says as the drill bit
slips inside him temple for the permanent drip
but what is this
his daughters walking into his environment
looks up to see daddy trying to rush the retirement
last vision, bastard act of gods children
last call for dialog hes slipping out of times religion
and as he cuts the incision all hes ever thinking
is that his daughter was the light that shined through the prism
thats what happens when the stress builds up in a closed room
tends to shatter walls makes it ever consuming so next time
when your letting loose the rage realize
that this person is still a marred symbol to the life gift.
Track Name: A Day In The Life
I spend my nights alone
Searching for life within these brittle bones
Touch fingertips to keyboards is how I wrote poems
About the the roads I've known paths well beaten down
Seemingly enough want to hear about my dreaming now
Don't try to decipher it I've spent many years guessing
what it means who was there all the pain does is build lessons
For me to learn from some would sooner see me drown
then lend a hand out to this fraction of a frown
I stay away from people cause all they do is disappoint me
Spend lots of time with exes cause they know builds this tree
Its water and seeds its the feel to be needed
By the one that I've been chasing yet she never gets the reading
Writing balled after balled you guys can keep guessing
Which is the one that I'm contained within the capsules real message
I feel success is something I don't taste that often
Can't seem to remove the dirt that I've put on top of this coffin
Call it the death of hope the death of love the death of something pure
You think you got the answers to questions I've been asking sure
Go ahead and test this trust a little more
You've seen the score 10 to none your always right I'm always wrong
So string me along but bring me good tidings
Ive felt the force of thousands every night that we were fighting
Strike like lighting i hope your world crumbles
For every minute i spent on the phone crying about my troubles
The rubbles clearing now I'm building better foundations
Don't come stomping through my town when the rain brings devastation
calculated every fuck up every time we had a difference
Talk about taking advantage i should have left you the very instance
came home from Maine you stained my soul that night
Another chance I get to play the child lost in constant fright
Now my sight slightly skewed cant find the good inside people
Only fueling this fool to find out nobodies equal
A sequel to this ya only time will tell
If I'm to fall into trap sent back to earth from hell
Call me out when I'm happy saying its just too much
That i should give a piece to her when the roads are rough
Ive wrote enough about you i hope you find what you wanted
Cause were not getting back together this much i can promise
Lets be honest with each other for once you lied so many times
That lately Ive been wondering where the truth died
I feel like since i survived I'm better person for it
no longer trudging through the forests of lost for some opening
This planet is too small for the injustice Ive felt
Ive got another in world good food and great health
So this is it my death Ive found the cure for the venom
No longer hiding in hell I'm stepping up in levels
Track Name: My Happy Song
Waking up to sun shining through the glass panes
Can't focus on a single thing for my eyes strained
What time is it 930 shit I'm so late
Its safe to say that's the start of a great day
Roll out of bed realize what I did last night
Stayed up late playing xbox till early light
I can't help that though gotta keep my skills up
Cause if I don't some kids gonna have luck
And take me out ruin my streak with a kill
These are my thoughts while I try to find my will
I stay steady dodging bullets trying to stay alive
Cause if I don't mortals gonna laugh so alright
Pick up the pace figure out what I'm doing right
And right about now the top spot is mine
And right about now its three in am
Call it what you will I live for these meetings

So realize what you got in this life
A chance to make wrong another chance to make right
So this is to people that keep me happy here
And make me wanna never fall asleep when timing near



Paradise is my life sitting by my phone
Just waiting on a call from my girls ring tone
and when it happens shit its on
Staying in her arms talking about life till the early dawn
I know my friends are saying josh your so sappy
Oh wait I thought you all wanted me to be happy
So crappy were the days before the sun rays
Lighten up your face brought you down from the cloud space
I feel the hate all around when we go out to eat
They look at you and stare wonder why your with me
I try to say I'm on the fence about it
Could be my good hair bad looks or worse habits
Its so tragic that people can't be happy for us
They try to break us down something I can't muster
So feel love as bellows from the songs I wrote
About the girl who has the key inside her puffy coat

I guess my life could better but in having fun
Living every dream until the timing of sun comes
That Ive got to buckle down deal with my demons
Paying off my debt to society no more scheming
Until then I'm pushing my limits
touring this nation dealing with toll booth critics
We break rules deal hope maybe score a little funds
I'm only 24 man Ive got more will to run
A trucker's son thats probably how the bug got in me
Sleeping in my car and if i could hotel lobbies
Sloppily traveling as a tour vet vagabond
My moms hates the idea of a rapper as a son
My friends idolize wish that they could take a chance
My girls a little envious of my traveling past
Ive seen a lot took a little along this road of dreaming
glass is half full but I'm more then gleaming
Track Name: Live Death Love Stress
You ever feel like this whole life is a test
Another piece tossed on the plate just to see what left
And yet not a day goes by that stress doesn't build
Canceling classes cause you cant capture the will
Too many times Ive lost light to overanyalizing
Sitting in the corner of a room wondered why I'm crying
I'm sick of trying someday ill be a better person
But for now I'm only thirsting for an end to this diversion
tell me I'm wrong like you've never wanted to escape
From this place from this life from the things you hate
Degradation of earth is getting worse
Its like your taking a gun to my chest and letting rounds burst
through dispersing notions life getting better
Thick smog, bad air companies are getting clever
More ways then one to hide the process
so while your laughing at me I'm tallying up losses

throw your hands up if life have never loved you
I want to know where your from and what you've been through
We all got time there really nothing left to do
Except trade stories from the tired and truth
now throw your hands if life has never fucked you
I want to know where your from and what you've been through
We all got time there nothing really left to do
Except trade stories from the loving and few


My ambitions got me swinging towards the fences
But as hard as i try they never let up never let me in
Call me Jobe the joke god tends to laugh at
Placing wagers on my soul waiting for me to crack
Ill attack back with a bit more of emotion
put it all on myself never letting the door open
So stop the parlor tricks acting all astonished when
I step to the stage and share my pieces of life ends
You'd love to share the truth but to tough to do so
spinning tales of adventure like Robinson Caruso
Tends to be your foray id love to save the day
Oh what life's great and you got a job that pays
Your probably lying trying to make yourself feel worth
And when no ones around you let the pain hurt
So if your crowing bout being local legends
understand I'm touring grabbing peoples attention
Track Name: Appreciate It
lets set it off again I'm sitting,g here counting stars
Like my life could ever fit into these 16 bars
Counting scars like whats the next song about
the bills piling up and the rents due in full amount
Dude who you fooling now, another song about a girl
Well thats my life measured down to a single curl
I put my all into this rap, so if i ever make it
I can say i wasn't lazy and just trying to save this
Id like to think I'm bringing something special to the table
True life stories from this white boy of gepetto
So let it go feel the words Ive been rhyming out
Call me anything you want i got your girl listening now
She knows what I'm about tends to like the songs i make
downplays your role in her life like the election date
Shes steady dreaming of the next time I have a show
and shes not letting you know until she hits the door
Dude chill stop calling her a whore
Cause honestly the show wasn't over till 4
And now I walk to her car like its nice to meet you
Tell your boy to buy my next CD when he comes through
And that was it, as much as i would take her home
I got moral codes and shes still all yours
So for once in life appreciate it
Track Name: Rough Roads, Fun Times
If your calling me up its best to know my real name
Never been known to spit game only hang back and build frames
The chains i used to wear held my head down proudly
Couldn't imagine another where id thought id be happy
But here i am dust sounds my lungs with every inhale
Honesty has got me here push the button for the emails
Getting more respect then expected started collecting the checks
If i forget your name its cool I'm just forgetful its
A funny feeling when the crowd starts cheering
if you care sing along ear to ear i get beaming
with the notion you took time to learn the words
Ya I'm a bit disturbed but its cool shits absurd
Try to meet females outside who don't know I'm a rapper
Cause i don't feel accomplished with my life's past chapers
Spend more time writings about girls then ever meeting them
Oh ya this is one of my biggest problems

I'm still chasing dreams 25 and cant seem to see straight
Came to rock a show got canceled so were on the freeway
So leave me a date when to come to your town
I came to share stories emoh came throw down



Cant afford a brand new ride cause i got albums to press
Stack those issues on the table with the bills i upset
They calling me up asking when the money going to clear
I say cool give it a rest Ive got a real winner here
Take an I.O.U. but don't cash until my rent is due
Who'd of knew that someone would appreciate my cruel
Sense of humor stressing out about old relationships
Get a grip with yourself josh no need to trip
Still I'm sick with the emotions that push through fingertips
Pen and paper is too old school for this computer whiz
Planned on touring blowing before the ripe age of 30
Yet I'm early to the party and well below my earnings
Surely enough got the talent to take this to level 4
The ambitions still oozing out the celebrated form
Too weird for the norm and too norm for my old crew
Yet my songs push me forward man what else am i to do



The highways my second home i like to pen my songs here
Scaring everyone thats rides within the doors that i steer
Yet i cant stop feeling fine when inspirations clocked
God I tend to talk a lot about my problems during set slots
Girls ask me why i pen the songs they hear on myspace
And when the albums hitting store shelves to this date
Lets get it straight, i write rhymes to express consistently
how my days are getting numbered and my mood is always shitty
Guess i want your pity but its irrelevant to clear
Up all the zits i got popping from the sweat that appears
Heres a beer nope don't drink barley with my DJ
We chose another path some call me a cheapskate
But i lost some weight monetary and pounds
And now women think they can fix my problems bound
I'm not around find me on a stage making kid respect me
Going back to the pad to fix a couple lines they envy
Track Name: You Know My Name
Trickle down emotions hit the paper frequently
On stage wondering why these women wanna sleep with me
Too be honest I'm nerd no other way around it
Hold a pose for those trying capture key moments
The bolder i get the more people feel the frequency
Don't feel accomplished till i get a college degree
But instead ill write another open poem
About the beauty that i witness everyday inside the open forum
trying hard to build upon my fan base
Toured the states went to Canada and made myself a name
Hdub i start to laugh when the people say it
Cause my mind doesn't take actually having favorites
Getting greeting cards from a million miles away
Its safe to say Ive made an impact in a small way
So heres to building with my friends on another trip
Outside of our comfort zone let get it right real quick
I let my less then great talents shine so much more
Open the door its either that or I'm sleeping on the floor
Cant ignore phone calls cause it might be some pay
And I'm broke cause rap never made me learn to save
Charge it to the game get a publicist that will push you
Thats the only advise my favorite rappers ever push through
Its probably true cause my moms still complaining
But I'm having fun people sing along shits insane
So I'm through with the idea of putting down a Mic
Maybe a few years back if idve been push right
I would've scared every bone in my body till i had none
And finally finished what i set out to accomplish
So raise it up man we all got a real dream
And me I'm living pretty inside my small scene
King of the heap well maybe not but I'm getting close
Known for rocking shows telling stories and jokes
I live my life through music other spin fairy tales
Changing stories every day hoping that they don't fail
I'm too honest for my own good gotta separate opponents
Call you out if i know it its better then throwing blows
Owning up to my mistakes take another song to make
Tears stop rain drops tend to let me escape
I guess I'm one in a trillion but still to this date
Gotta have a back plan if you know what I'm saying
Spraying thoughts on an empty canvas thats the process
Let the stress build inside to find some form of artist
And I'm trying harder everyday to up my writing now
My friends all freestyle harder then I flip rounds
Sound off if your sore from the backtalk
I sleep on floors and my friends thinks something to applaud
But i keep moving froward hope somebody finds me
Picks me up from my debt makes me see real discovery
Ive got plans to build a family but its not in the future
I'm too cued on this music anything seems clueless
I'm used to shit storms so my songs follow suit
But i got great stage presence who would've knew
That this shy 25 guy could hold a crowds attention
Man i cant keep a conversation when I'm not entertaining
Track Name: UHF
She sits and stares at the reflection of the television
Everyday its the same thing. The remote is an extension of herself trying to be free
Essentially escaping this life every time she watches reruns.
I can't blame her really
The girl barely lives life just to survive the day.
I try to show her the Technicolor vision of dreams
That there really is more to this place then ghosthunters.
That's one of her favorites.
I think I know why.
The ghost of her minds past tend to haunt her sleeping silence, every night the somber sound of her breath is destroyed by the images of her ancient society.
So shes trying to find a way to help.
To help lead these living spirits away to the place that you don't goto.
The very essence of what her worth is magnitude times sincerity
See she used to care about which scars would show
Now she can't compare wither she was meant to be saved or left for dead
This was the girl I found years ago
A swollen soul with a swollen heart
To used to her dad not caring about anyone but himself
Too used to her complacent mother not seeing her daughter dying
Too used to this life
Shes sick of playing the patty cake palmsto your ever growing disdain for her beauty
Truly only looking for a companion which she can truly be just herself
Shes still digging for that treasure chest
The key oh well she keeps it in her pocket always by her side as if by chance she will spot in this pile you call rubbish the answer to her ever longing questions
They call it life i bet she calls it unforgiving
They call it love i bet she calls it torture
I can relate miss if not to you but to that statement.
I hope you find that picket fence soon.
If you need help painting, let me know.