She used to call me babe
I thought it was meant to be special
I mean it made me feel special
Like when a mother hears her child's first words
Like when you finally hit that lottery
Ya special
She used to tell me how there was no one like me
How I could turn stars into planets
How I could truly do anything if I wanted too
She had a great way of masking the truth
Because
Truth is I couldn't and can't
The truth is she is no longer here
Not in the way that death takes us but
More in the way that she didn't believe the hype
It wasn't supposed to be like this
A perfect phrase for an imperfect moment
Like telling someone who just lost their father to a second hand smoke cancer battle , damn that sucks
I mean what more is their to say?
I love you?
No!
You see I've learned years ago that love can't save us all
But it can be torchurish to the very bone
It can make people leap towards faith
As if jumping that bridge was really going to save you
Ya know what spare me the timed comments about
How things will get better
I know that
But I don't believe it
I don't believe I did the right thing
I don't believe she didn't want out
But I don't believe it would've worked itself out
For the last few weeks I've spent my days saving the lives of future past while the night kept me cold and lonely
I live in a room which was once too small is now too fucking big, for my fears are all around me.
I see her everywhere I go, in the market, at the movies, but more so at department stores, I swear I'm going to shop locally!
If only to avoid the idea that somewhere she is with someone smiling like her life depends on it.
That was me at one point.
The wilting flower finally prepared for it own demise only to free its seed for life can continue on
Life has to continue on
So here I am
In a state with people that don't know my name
Telling them a story they might not care about
But it was all true everything s here is my new introduction for the time being
Hi
My name is josh, I make mistakes just like you
I'm as faithful as it gets to significant others
But its a bit hard t break through the shell
Find me in the corner
Wondering where I went wrong